– What’s this? Well, that is the weirdest looking floppy disk ever. Uh. Oh, hey. That’s convenient! (groans) – Your cat is green. (speaking foreign language) – What the hell? Gah. – Good morning, Krazy Ken. You need to steal the iMac Pro from Jony Ive’s white room. This message will self-destruct in three, two. – (panicked muttering) Phew. – One. – Yeagh! (exploding) (up-tempo spy music) (alarm bell ringing) (chirping and scanning) Phew. Where am I? Is this it? (beeping) (typing) (upbeat electronic music) Come on, where is the light switch in here? Oh, there it is. So as you can see, ladies and gentlemen, I have infiltrated the hidden fortress of Jonathan Ive and entered in to his white room of secrets.All just today to unbox the most expensive product I have ever unboxed on this show: A USB-C dongle. I mean, seriously! These dongles cost a shit-ton of money! I mean, I can’t really blame Apple. There is a controller inside of here. There’s actually a lot that goes into these things and I’ve used some third-party dongles that are cheaper before and they all suck big duck. So I’m gonna be sticking with the Apple brand, thank you very much, I don’t care how much it costs. I need it. But that is not really the reason I called you all here today.So dongles aside, I’m actually gonna unbox and setup this beautiful iMac Pro with 14 cores. 14 mother (censor bleep) cores! Like, I can’t even think of what I do that would require that much power. But, we have ’em anyway. So 14 cores, Xeon, 128 gigabytes of RAM, the Vega chips for the GPU, all inside a convenient, super-easy to open and upgrade package. You’ll see the humor in that later. Alright, one thing I like about Apple is they really make simple box designs. Unlike some other ones I’ve opened earlier which required like a blow torch, Apple actually makes their packaging really beautiful and really easy to open, and environmentally friendly. So, EPA, they’re thinkin’ about you. Anyhoo, let’s flip this open. And it comes down the other way. Very anti-climactic. I’m gonna flip this bitch around. Boy, what a great idea it was to film this on a tablecloth. It’s so easy to work with. Anyhoo. ♪Duh-duh. (sings theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey) ♪ Space Odyssey. That’s the screen. Beautiful resolution. This looks like our little accessory box. Oh, just slides right out.Boom. Black power cord. When Apple does black stuff, it’s always special. That was it. Oh. It was
literally just for the power cord. Okay, we’ll just set that right there. Anyone want some toast? Just pops right out of the, oh (censor bleep) Well (laughter) alright, we know how durable that little tag is now, we learned that. Um, yeah, that was not good. I’m sure it’s not broken, but (laughter) whoa, what a great start. Anyway. This I’m really excited for, because this is most likely, judging by the shape, the exclusive space gray, wireless Magic Keyboard and mouse, which only comes with the iMac Pro, or on eBay, for like, hundreds of dollars. Probably thousands of dollars. Do a slide-out, like that. Oooh. That looks pretty cool. Oh (sniffs) you can get high off of new Apple product. It just smells like fresh science. Look at that. Unwrap it. Dude. This is the shit. I’m not a huge fan of numeric keypads honestly, but man, this looks great. And it’s thin. All space gray. It’d be cool if it was backlit, but I’m typically working in a lit environment anyway.Very frikin’ nice. That looks good. And let us not forget the Magic Mouse 2, space gray. And it’s own little space gray, little pouch. Dude. Lots of cool videos are gonna be cut with this bad boy. Remember when Steve Jobs introduced the Puck Mouse and said “This was the coolest mouse on the planet”? This is the coolest mouse on the planet. And it won’t give you carpal tunnel syndrome like the other one did. I mean, the puck shape, who thought of that idea? Yeah, this is pretty baller. This is pretty freakin’ awesome, look at that! They even give you a lightning cable that’s black to charge the black accessories. Now if only they would ship more black Thunderbolt cables, that’d be great, but yeah, included lightning. Awesome. Got another little package. The iMac Pro.Oooh. Black Apple Stickers. Hello! Have they done that before? I feel like they have. You see the white ones everywhere, I got black ones now! Oh freaking yeah. And of course a cleaning cloth, which is always black. That was already black to begin with. I’m trying to determine how to approach this unboxing without shattering everything in sight. (grunts) Oh, yeah, that’s, that feels good. Just gonna carefully set down the almost $10,000 computer. Let’s go. Make way for the star of the show. I’m just admiring this beautiful aluminum. The black aluminum, and uh, yeah. To go with it, they have this darker wrapper on it too, which is a nice little touch. Man, this thing just feels amazing.
There’s so much horsepower with the 5k display packed into something that’s so thin and just tilts with no effort.Let’s pop the cherry and unwrap it like a little Christmas present. A little $10,000 Christmas present. I’m sorry. I’m just like a space gray addict. It’s like a drug. And one, two three, boom! There it is! The beautiful iMac Pro. With wrap on the front, yes, let’s remove that. Okay, I just wanna say, I’ve said this before on Krazy Ken, peeling this protective plastic off of new technology is like the best feeling in the world. And I’m about to do it with the most expensive gizmo I’ve ever touched, so I’m going ta savor this. This might be an hour-long sequence, and I’m gonna disable the fast-forward button so you can’t skip. You’re just gonna sit there and watch me un-peel this for an hour. Oh, this is better than what I’ve been told sex feels like. Oh gosh. Oh mama! That was good. And that was just one of ’em! It looks like there’s more. Oh, it ripped in half.That’s beautiful. Let’s do the other half. It ripped in half on purpose just so I can savor the moment Ow! Electric shock, you bitch, ow. Don’t do that to me. I really don’t wanna touch the screen. And there’s even more to peel off. They had that on the Apple on the back. Keep that shiny. This is just un-freakin’ believably beautiful. It really is like a statue or like a modern piece of art on your desk, like I don’t even wanna touch it. This is the most beautiful, finely crafted computer I’ve ever seen. Seriously. Let’s take a look at the ports. Well, we have a headphone jack, which is great, that didn’t get removed. SD Card. 4 USB-3s, I’m guessing those are three Type A and then we have C which is also Thunderbolt-3, which is really awesome because I’m also gonna be using a Thunderbolt 3 RAID System with this. And our ethernet, so yeah, lots of good ports on here and some backwards compatibility, which is great. And in the central-hole there is the power. And on the foot we have even more awesome wrapping to pull-off and savor those moments of peeling that stuff off, it’s so much fun.So I’m gonna save that for later! Mhmmm. It still smells like fresh Apple. Alright, we are all plugged in. What do you say? Give it a boot-up? Next time, on Krazy Ken’s Tech Misadventures! Just kidding! I wouldn’t make you wait for a Part Two just to see the thing turn on. That would be a dick-ish marketing move. Right? There’s no way I’d do
that. Promise. Now, before I boot it up, I have a question for all of you: Personally, I’m a fan of darker things, dark themes in software, black products, even my iPhone is frickin’ jet black, I held out for that one and spent the extra money to get the upsell, but what is it? What do you think it is about black things, exclusivity aside, what is it about darker products that a lot of us gravitate toward? I know not everybody likes the black stuff. But I know many do. So what is it? I’m not even quite sure.What I will say about this, though, is that the space gray chassis kind of blends better with the screen and the bezel, making it look more like a unified shape, and the way the light reacts with the contours is just so freakin’ beautiful, and I love it! But I’m just wondering, what do you guys think? What is it about black things like phones, computers, software skins that makes us go crazy? Anyway, here we go, the first boot of the 14 core whore, that was for you Adiblasi, iMac Pro. (eMate 300 startup chime) (television signalling) (Mac startup chime) Alright, we need to turn on the keyboard and mouse, which should be a rather simple task. Mmm, this clicks really nice. Me gusta. Oh, okay, this is workin’. That’s workin’, okay, good, yes. English! My favorite. ♪ This is beautiful ♪ These are going on eBay, this, and the freakin’ keyboard, are goin’ on eBay for a lotta bucks. I don’t think they’re going for as much as they were when the iMac Pro first came out, but man, when Apple turns something black it just never goes back and it goes way up in price, which I’m not against, I think that’s cool, yeah.Gives you something to sell on eBay. We’re gonna skip the internet for now. I’m gonna have to migrate a lot of data, but I’m not gonna show you all that, that’s not really necessary. I’m just gonna set up a generic user account to begin with. We don’t really need to migrate all that stuff right now. The password is, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and they will never see it coming.So while that’s loading, here are my plans: What I really wanna do is test out the speakers on this thing because they probably sound amazing, but the other thing that I might save for a little bit later is I wanna do a speed test. I wanna see how fast this thing really is. So stick around for that. Sure, we’ll do the ‘express settings’ for now because I’m probably just change ’em all
anyway. Look at that 14 core performance. It really shines right here. Look at how well that graphic rendered. The Vega really drives those pixels. ♪ Duh-duh-duh! ♪ ♪ 5k! ♪ Beautiful 5k screen, let’s see what we got in this bad boy. I say “bad boy” a lot, is that just a thing? I dunno… We have a 2.5 Ghz Intel Xeon W, 128 gigs of RAM, and a Radeon Pro Vega 64 with 16 gigs of video memory. This is the fastest computer I’ve ever touched. Number of cores: 14. Right! So it is a 14 core system with 128 gigs of RAM, two freakin’ terabytes of super-fast storage.That is amazing. Alright. Right! So I think the speakers, considering this is a really thin all-in-one computer, are pretty good! Yeah! (loud electronic music) And for a final personal touch, and boom goes the turpentine. That looks beautiful on that 5k display. Now before I say goodbye to all of you, there is one thing left to do. I need to give my personal MacBook Pro, the thing that has been with me for over four years, a well-needed upgrade. It is now the MacBook Pro Pro. You know, as much as I love my photography, I think it’s only fitting to show the inkcloud wallpaper because that’s kinda the image that this computer is marketed with.So anyway, awesome start. Now, is this thing really as fast as people say? That’s what I’m gonna test on a future Krazy Ken episode. So stick around for that. But, beautiful computer, thanks for watching. And there’s more to come with this iMac Pro. Catch the crazy, and pass it on. (upbeat electronic outro music) .